I want to love you because you were my first client, ever. And that was a big deal for me. And I want to love you because you are a sweet old man, and sweet old men definitely always have a place in my heart, just so you know. But you've been making it really difficult lately. Last week when my supervisor was here you stopped by the meeting room we were in to say that you would come in after your meeting and get your will executed. We waited and waited for you and you never showed back up. My supervisor was definitely annoyed but I defended you. When I got back to my desk later that afternoon I had an e-mail saying that you talked to someone by my cubical about how I wasn't at my desk and you didn't know what to do (even though you knew that we were in the meeting room - because that is where you found us before). But I could have forgiven you for your flakiness that time.
However, when you showed up at my cubical today and wanted to go into a meeting room to talk, you made it even harder for me to forgive you. Remember how I have met with you every week for the past 5 weeks? Remember how you have taken up more of my time than any other client I have had? Remember? I do. Anyway, that was all fine. It's not like I've been so busy that I haven't had time to meet with you. But today, when you showed up at my cubical and you wanted to meet with me to tell me that you didn't want any of your assets to go through the probate process, I became incredibly frustrated with you. I have been trying to work on my patience lately - after this epiphany the other day that I am far from a patient person. So, when you told basically told me that all my work for you has been for nothing, I tried to let you explain your thought process and your concerns. I understand that the probate process can be unnecessarily long. I understand that you don't want to go through that (even though you don't have to, because you will be dead when that happens), and I understand that you don't want to put your family through that. But I want to let you know for the 5th time, that no, first client, there is not some alternative document that says that "upon my death I want all my property to be transferred into my Grandson's name." That document is called a will, and wills go through the probate process. Even if you die without a will something similar will happen to your property. I don't know how I can make you understand that.
First client, I hope that you understand that it is somewhat difficult and time consuming to get land transferred to someone else's name whether you are alive or dead. But if you really want, you can transfer it now and avoid probate upon your death. But, if you do it now you will relinquish any interest you have in all of your property. Or you can have it done when you're dead (like normal people) and enjoy all of your property while you're alive - you know, most people like having a house to live in and not being homeless and asset-less. And since I've spent countless hours with you, writing your will, meeting with you, fixing your will, meeting with you again, fixing your will again, counselling you when you unexpectedly show up at my cubical all upset, I'd suggest that you have the document that I prepared for you executed and stop worrying about it. The probate of your assets is something that you're NEVER going to have to deal with. And guess what? Most people are happy to deal with the process because at the end of it, they end up with a bunch of free land and stuff.
So, the moral of the story is that you're stressing me out and making me VERY frustrated before I can have my first cup of coffee (which may have helped with my patience). And I don't like feeling like this toward you, dearest first ever, sweet old man client.
So if you could calm down and just come in on the 14th to get your will executed that'd be great. Kthxby.