This morning I did it again, hopefully for the last time ever, but it's out of my hands at this point and all I'm left with is a fading anxious feeling.
I completely blocked so much of the summer bar exam out of my mind that when I got to Tacoma early this morning I suddenly had a flood of emotions and anxiety and memories that weren't there before. It's confusing to me how I block things out. Maybe if I would have remembered all of the fear and anxiety and awfulness I would have started studying earlier than I did this time around. Maybe not though.
I got to the convention center early, not feeling particularly ethical, found a corner and huddled up on the floor clutching my paper cup of black coffee and re-reading my professional responsibility outline for the 100th time until it was time to go in to take the test.
When I finally went into the room I forgot about the awful proctor, and the exam passwords, and the anxiety and fear, and the thirst, and how long the whole thing feels when you're in the middle of it and you just want to be done. But this time instead of rushing through, only looking for the finish, I took my time and I typed and made notes and thought about my answers until there were only 2 minutes to go. I'm not sure how I did (because clearly, it's hard to gauge these things) but it's over. And that feels good.
5 comments:
Congratulations! I'll be praying that you'll get good news.
Now go and enjoy your weekend! You deserve it! :)
I'm pleased, Rebeka, that the test is over for you. I hope you did well. :)
I'm glad this is over and behind you (hopefully for GOOD). Hope you have lots of time to go out and celebrate this weekend!!
P.S. Excited to see you blogging again!!!!
Congratulations on it being over!! That's good news!
The bar terrifies me (one of the many reasons I could never be a lawyer). But when I moved to Australia I learned something very interesting - they don't have to take the bar here!
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