I’ve been in such a funk lately. First it was finals, and then it was coming off of finals, and maybe that’s still what it is. Nothingness after so much. And I don’t know what to do with myself. And I feel so unsure about so many things and it’s scary and it makes me not want to get out of bed. Ever. That’s why it’s after 11am and I’m still here, in bed (well, actually I got up to get some water and yogurt because I was SO thirsty).
So after waking up and laying here for while just feeling sorry for myself, I decided to get on the internet, for distraction purposes. Because the internet is the most wonderful distraction (twitter and facebook and blogs and news and now recently pinterest, which is kind of a b-word). And I stumbled across this:
nothing is what we want it to be, but everything is what we make it
And it’s so true. And right now exactly what I needed to hear. Or read. whatever.
So now I think it’s time to end my pity party and get out of bed and take a shower and go for a bundled up walk (because holy F it’s cold outside). I will walk to Zoka to see friends (who are still studying for finals – bummer for you guys) and pawn off cookies on them (because we baked last night, me and my favorites from law school, and those skinny friends of mine wouldn’t take any cookies. SO now I’m going to force ALL the cookies on them, because no one can turn down some finals binge cookie eating). And then maybe walk to Greenlake with warm coffee. And it will be good. Exercise and fresh air and seeing things from a view other than my bed (even though my heat blanket is here, and I love my heat blanket, and there are good things on the walls in my room. It will all be here when I get back).
I don’t mean to sound all emo, friends, and I’m not trying to drag you into my pity party, I promise you that. But, I do think most of you can relate (especially if you’re a girl with SO MANY FEELINGZ). But really, it’s just that time of the year (especially when you live in Seattle and it’s rainy and SO dark all the time). And we all have our off days. So now I’m going to attempt to remedy my off day, because everything is what we make it.
XXOO
3 comments:
Boo, off days. If I lived in Seattle, I would eat cookies and take walks to get good coffee with you. Speaking of Seattle, will you still be there this summer, or will you be back in Hood River? I have seriously wanted to visit Seattle for forever, and I might just book a trip at some point. : )
I hope you cheer up, love! But, off days happen to even the best of us. You will get everything sorted out!
I've been in the same sort of funk lately. And I think you hit the nail on the head with the "nothingness" after finals. It's so hard going from crazy, irrational student to somewhat normal human being. It's even more difficult because most people have no idea how to relate you your feelings, simply because law school is that bizarre/challenging/vexing.
I hope you feel better soon pretty girl! Baking cookies sounds like a great start! :)
feelings. ick. I would like to take a vacation from mine, care to join me?
actually, I really think we should take a vacation. to somewhere WARM and SUNNY. Sun for daaaaayz.
love you :)
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