Earlier today I read this post, titled “Do you ever worry that you won’t meet your soul mate?” by Joanna who writes the blog A Cup of Jo.
This could not have come at a more perfect time after everything that has been happening in my personal life lately. Also, just last night I had a dinner date with my severely neglected BFF Katie (sorry I’ve been gone all summer, we can NEVER go that long without seeing each other ever again!). At dinner we spent a while talking about relationships, past and present, and what we’re looking for in our potential husbands (girl talk, you know). This post was the perfect follow up to my conversation with Katie.
In the post Joanna talks about her single days and how badly she wanted to find “the one,” how she knew she was getting older and had the constant voice in the back of hear mind asking what if he never arrives? I think that a lot of my friends and myself are often looking forward to the day when we find “the one.” We’re so consumed with this that we don’t enjoy the now. We’re always looking ahead. Thinking that when we find the one we’ll be happier, more complete people. This just seems silly when I sit here and type it out on the screen, but it’s true and it’s something I think a lot of women are guilty of.
In her blog post, Joanna poses the question: "If you knew you were going to meet the love of your life in one year, how different would that year be?"
This hypothetical question has kept me thinking all day.
How differently would my year be? My last year of law school. The year I turn 25. The year I become a lawyer. If I just stopped worrying about finding the one, about being a couple and started worrying about myself (in both the most and least selfish ways possible). If I could just do this, how would my life change? And would it change for the better?
I’m not really sure of the answer to this yet. At first I thought it would change drastically. But as I think more about it, I don’t really know if it would. I would definitely spend more time studying and more time with my girlfriends (as if I don’t already spend enough time doing both haha). I think I would have less FOMO (fear of missing out) – which I am a chronic obsesser over. But other than that I think most things would be the same. I guess I would try and do things by myself more often too. But for the most part I feel like I’m a pretty independent person (when I’m not coupled) and I do all of these things a reasonable amount anyway.
I think this question will have me thinking for a while.
So single friends, I challenge you to think about how your life would be different if you knew that you were going to meet the love of your life in one year. How different would the next year be for you?
4 comments:
Ooooooh. This was such a good post. I read it earlier, thought about it, and then came back to it again. This really is something interesting to consider; whether we would change the way we operate if we knew we'd meet The One in a year.
I know I've been getting SUPER itchy/curious about engagements, but I think a lot of it comes from being around a lot of law students who had quickie engagements or they're already married. I have a long-distance boyfriend, and we've only been together 6 months, so I know it's too soon, but I have been thinking a lot about The One. haha. I'm such a girl. Being surrounded by newlyweds and being in Family Law probably doesn't help that.
This is a good reminder though to be more "in the moment" and to stop worrying about it. You (and me!) will end up with Our One someday, so we should enjoy being young and wild now!! :)
P.S. I just seriously wrote a comment the size of a novel. It was also a lot of rambling. hahaha.
P.S.S. Hope you are surviving your first week back!
I read her blog on this too! It is def an interesting thought. I think it's nearly impossible not to worry about it at some points. I know I do! haha
This is a great post and so timely for me as well since I just had a very similar conversation with a good friend of mine. She is so afraid of not meeting the one, having the children she wants, etc. that she is missing a lot of the beauty that the present has to offer. I think I will send her your post. It might help to get her thinking in a different direction.
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